Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

I will be the first to admit that I am a fan of Duane “The Rock” Johnson.

I was a fan of wrestling back in the late 90′s when people like The Rock, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, & Degeneration X ruled the ring (I understand DX is still around as a team, apparently). I remember when The Rock was famous for giving the people’s elbow and saying things like:

“Know your role and shut your mouth.”

“I’m gonna lay the smack down on your candy ass.”

or

“If you smell what The Rock is cookin’.”

Today? He’s more well-known for putting on pink leggings and a set of fairy wings.

Okay, that might be a little harsh.

There is just something about Duane Johnson…some intangible that you can’t quite put your finger on…that makes him appealing across different genders and age groups. Sure he’s a good looking man, but looks can only take you so far. Sure he can be a kick-ass action star, but he can also be the family guy. Sure he’s in movies that don’t require a ton of acting skill, but he can also put on a good performance when it’s asked of him.

It’s funny…Johnson’s resume includes a number of movies that people claim to have never seen, yet they were all $70 million+ hits:

- The Scorpion King
- Doom
- The Game Plan
- Race to Witch Mountain

He’s hosted Saturday Night Live, he’s been nominated for and has hosted the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards, he’s acted alongside such Hollywood superstars as Billy Crystal, Christopher Walkin, John Travolta, Steve Carell, Uma Thurman, Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, and Samuel L Jackson. Surely there’s just something about the guy that people like.

But the guy used to call himself The Rock. I guess it’s really what guilty pleasures are all about.

2010
01/22
CATEGORY
Movies
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Häagen-Dazs

You know you love it.

Häagen-Dazs is the ultimate in ice-cream. From Bailey’s Irish Cream to Vanilla Fudge Brownie, Häagen-Dazs is widely considered to be the ultimate in self-indulgence.

....drool....

The company was established in the Bronx, New York back in 1961 with only three basic flavors (vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry) and has continued to grow exponentially into an international ice cream phenomenon. Häagen-Dazs produces not only ice cream, but ice cream bars, sorbet, and frozen yogurt.

The indulgence comes not only in the sense of OH MY GOD THIS IS SO F’ING GOOD, but also from the price. Let’s face it, Häagen-Dazs ain’t the cheapest ice cream in the world…and that only adds to the guilty pleasure of knowing you spent way too much on something oh so good.

2010
01/21
CATEGORY
Food
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2 comments

The Dukes of Hazzard

They’re just good ol’ boys who don’t mean any harm.

And there’s something intoxicating about watching a redneck family wearing tight jeans running moonshine and jumping cars over rivers.

There…that pretty much sums up the entire series, doesn’t it?

Bo and Luke Duke were popular for two reasons: all men wanted to be them and all women wanted to be with them. They drove all around Hazzard County, Georgia in a modified 1969 Dodge Charger RT, doing their best to stay on their best behaviour (they were on probation)…so the “good ol’ boys” were also a bit on the bad side, making them more appealing to those watching.

From 1979 thru 1985 (minus the vast majority of the ‘82/’83 season…which was the infamous “Coy & Vance Duke” season), both Tom Wopat and John Schneider were considered pin-ups for the teenage girl set. In addition, cousin Daisy (i.e. Catherine Bach) was famous for…well…nothing, really, other than wearing short shorts and showing off her, ummm, assets.

Everybody in the cast seemed to get their chance in the spotlight, with the evil Boss Hogg and the inept Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane being extremely popular characters, and even the secondary character of Deputy Enos Strate (later Sheriff Enos) getting his own spin-off program once the series ended.

With video games and movie remakes and syndication of the program, the popularity of the Dukes has continued and even grown over time. But if you happen to sit back and watch the show today, you’ll totally understand why it’s considered an all-time guilty pleasure.

2010
01/20
CATEGORY
Television
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1 comment

Wham!

“Wake me up before you go-go. 
Don’t leave me hanging on like a yo-yo.”

Do you remember where you were the first time you got caught up in the wave of awesomeness known as WHAM!? 

No…neither do I.

But as the years have gone by, more and more Wham! fans have come out of the closet (no pun intended for you George Michael fans).  I mean, how many parties have you been to where “Wake me up before you go-go” has played over the loudspeakers?  None?  Well…that’s probably because you’ve been too drunk to remember and it was near the end of the night’s festivities.  Trust me…the song gets played and the dance floor gets packed.

And how can you go through a holiday season without hearing the sensual pop stylings of “Last Christmas” at least twenty times? 

Want to know the widespread reach of this band?  When a hard-rock band like Seether can remake “Careless Whisper” by a band who portrayed themselves as hedonistic sex symbols…then you’ve got to give them props, even if it’s reluctantly.

I’d love to tell you that I hate this band.  But I suppose that’s what a guilty pleasure is all about.  From “Everything she wants” to “I’m your man”…this band was the pinnacle of pop-music pleasure during the 1980’s.  Their singles were part-parody, part-social commentary…which only adds to the guilty love people still have for them and especially George Michael (who will eventually have an entry all of his own).

Whatever happened to that Andrew Ridgely guy, anyway?

2010
01/19
CATEGORY
Music
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3 comments

Anaconda

If I were to tell you that I was going to create an action-packed thriller movie starring Academy Award winner Jon Voight, box office champ Owen Wilson, Golden Globe nominee Eric Stoltz, and Jennifer Lopez, you’d probably be interested in how good it could turn out to be.  Throw in rapper-turned-actor Ice Cube, ice candy/actress Kari Wuhrer, and Tarantino favourite Danny Trejo and you’ve got a recipe for a great movie.

Well…if you thought that, you’d probably be wrong.

Anaconda is the very definition of guilty pleasure.  It’s a movie about a small crew of young, good looking people heading into the deep jungles of Brazil looking for a giant snake.  The acting is horrid (seriously…Jon Voight’s accent is laughable at best).  The dialogue is putrid. The storyline is cheesy.  The deaths are predictable.  And the giant snake?  Well…let’s just say that this movie was made before the special effects of Avatar were around.

Are there worse movies out there?  Absolutely.  But this one still made over $130 million at the box office and is shown on television numerous times a year.  Why?  Because for as bad as this is, we still enjoy watching Voight’s character get swallowed and then regurgitated by this giant snake.

Don’t we?

2010
01/18
CATEGORY
Movies
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1 comment

Wipeout

Extremely difficult obstacles. Extremely cheesy commentary. Extremely big balls.

Yeah…you know you love it.

One of the greatest summertime pleasures is watching people…most of them really weird people…compete against each other in multiple obstacle course competitions in an attempt to win $50,000.  This contest is simply called Wipeout.

And let’s face it, this show is entertaining primarily because we love watching people…well…wipe out on the course.

Faceplants into the mud.

Punches to the face and groin region.

Bouncing off of gigantic red balls in ways most people aren’t supposed to bounce.

Getting dizzy BEFORE completing an obstacle course.

These are just some of the things that take place in the FIRST HALF of the program!!

We know it’s silly.  We know that the jokes made by John Henson are as lame as they come. We know that some of these people are really quite odd and it’s hard to root for them over our laughter AT them.

This is really one big silly program from start to finish.  You shouldn’t like it.  But you do.

You know you do…

2010
01/15
CATEGORY
Television
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TMZ.com

The National Enquirer and Star Magazine were staples in my household when I was growing up back in the 80′s. My mom would buy both of these tabloids on a weekly basis. I found myself strangely addicted to the lifestyles of the rich and famous and all of the “dirt” that these tabloids could find.

As I grew older, I realized that a lot of the things that the tabloids published really didn’t have much to back up their claims.  “Anonymous sources”…“friends of the star in question”…“inside sources”…it got to the point where these tabloids could really just publish anything they wanted and get away with it.

Really Funny or Unnecessarily Harsh?

TMZ.com, without question, is the modern-day tabloid.  The only difference is that, most of the time, they’re mean and vicious without justification.  They attempt to put celebrities in such a bad light that it makes the average person feel better about themselves.

And what’s worse is that they are spot-on with their stories most of the time.  It’s rare when they make a mistake…so they’ve actually found a way to combine “tabloid” with “journalism” without making a mockery of their profession.

Admit it…you hate to see how paparazzi hounds celebrities.  But much like an accident on the side of the highway, you still find yourself looking as you pass on by.

That would be TMZ.com…the modern-day highway accident.

2010
01/14
CATEGORY
Internet
TAGS
2 comments

SlapChop

You’re gonna love my nuts.

And with that one line, millions of people around the world fell in love with the amazing product known as the SlapChop.

Okay…maybe it wasn’t just that one line, but it certainly added to the enjoyment of it all. 

It's Vince!!

Let’s face it: you can do everything this product does by simply using a knife.  From what I’ve read, the SlapChop isn’t even that easy to use.  So why in the world are they selling these things by the thousands?

I’d say the spokesman, Vince, certainly has a lot to do with it.  People seem to want to ignore his run-in with a hooker and just enjoy watching him dice-up an onion without having to remove the skin beforehand. 

Hell…the infomercial makes up 75% if the guilty pleasure to begin with.

Oooohh....it's the GRATY!!

So whether you order the product online (and receive it’s amazingly small sidekick, The Graty) or purchase it at a local mall, you know that simply WANTING a SlapChop leaves just a bit of guilt inside of you…and it’s a wonderful feeling.

Afterall, all Vince wants to do is make America skinny one slap at a time, right?

2010
01/13
CATEGORY
Product
TAGS
1 comment

Karaoke

We’ve all done it at one point in our lives: sing.

We’ve sung in the car when one of our favourite songs has come on.  We’ve sung in the shower to pass the time.  We’ve sung when we’ve had one too many drinks at a bar and think that “Paradise City” is in our vocal range.

Wait…what?

Yeah.  Karaoke.  It initially hit the bar scenes back in the early 90’s, spawned by the fall-out of the “Milli Vanilli scandal” as people no longer wanted to see air bands or lip-sync artists…they wanted REAL singers.  Not only that, but people wanted to live the fantasy of being a star.

And for 4 minutes in front of other intoxicated would-be Grammy winners, people began to fulfill those fantasies.

I’ll be the first to admit, I not only sang karaoke back in the 90’s but, being a DJ at a local bar, also “hosted” karaoke nights and sang the night away in an effort to get others up on stage.

I normally remove the tie...

We’ve all got our crosses to bear.

With the introduction of American Idol to pop culture (it’s pretty much imbedded at this point), one would think that karaoke would be more popular than ever.  It is…but in a much different manner.  With “Rock Band” and “SingStar” now easily accessible as home-based video games, the need to go out in public and embarrass yourself is negated by the comfort of embarrassing yourself in the confines of your very own home.

So what about karaoke, then?  Oh, it’s still very much alive.  Go to just about any city in the world on just about any night of the week and you’ll find at least one bar having a karaoke night.  Do most people perform in front of close friends and family?  Well…only if you’re good and/or drunk.

Today, one of those bars is where we can still sneak out in relative anonymity and pretend to be the superstar we always wanted to be.  It’s where we can truly indulge in our guilty pleasure.

2010
01/12
CATEGORY
Music
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1 comment

“Y.M.C.A.”

I’ll sheepishly admit it…if the Village People came to my small city and were charging $40 a ticket, I’d probably plop it down to see them in concert. But really, I can’t say that I’m a huge fan of the entire band.

But enter the rhealm of the one-hit-wonder: songs so cheesy in retrospect yet so catchy and so dang popular, you can’t help but find yourself tapping your feet or humming the chorus if it ever comes on the radio. However, ask somebody if they’d crank it up in their car as they cruise down Main Street? You’d probably get a weird look as a response.

Go to a business party where a DJ is hired. Go to a wedding where a DJ is hired. Go to a baseball game during the Seventh Inning Stretch. Heck, go to almost any kind of event where a DJ is working and this song will eventually blare over the loudspeakers.

The YMCA dance

The question really is….WHY?? Is Y.M.C.A that catchy? Is it that awesome? Is it the fact that you can do a dance using your hands?

The answer is all of the above.

You like it, you love it, you want some more of it. After all…it’s fun to stay at the Y.

 

2010
01/11
CATEGORY
Music
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